well I can't set my house on fire every night
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
