I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize