Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
