Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize