question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
