I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
