all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
