last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
