i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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