Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
