I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
