Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
