Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
