don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
