I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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