I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I can't put those talents on a resume
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
