True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she smelled like a LAN party
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
