his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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