So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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