I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
