just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
