quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
