I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
