what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
