just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
