If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Let's get the cat blown out
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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