If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize