His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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