Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
As shirtless as possible
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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