Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
