Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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