So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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