I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize