Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I feel great
I just peed on a car
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
