Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
