My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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