I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
