p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
