no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize