I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
