They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
