If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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