maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
