i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
