Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
