Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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