Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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