I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I am one with the molecules
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
