you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
