I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
