I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
