i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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