Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
