I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
