How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I would ride that face into the sunset
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
