Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I will pee on everything he values.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is Oprah even human
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I forget how to act sober
Randomize