Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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