Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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