I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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