It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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