Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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