So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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