We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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