Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
