When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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