Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize