hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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