Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
