The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
