Don't EVER smell your tampon
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
