why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
