i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
