She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
