She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
